You will believe a Man can fly...

...from Montreal to Toronto to Saskatoon to Calgary.

Before my first flight took off, I skimmed through the in flight reading material. They must of seen me coming cause they had a whole article on superhero supplies, and gave me a good reason to go to Brooklyn some time soon.

No one was sitting beside me between Montreal and Toronto, but I still didn't have enough room to follow along with the work-out channel. I think it would be neet if we exercised on planes, I'd call them Air-o-bics. Ha ha ha ha... uh. Yep.

From Toronto to Saskatoon I watched the first fifteen minutes of the pay per view Iron Man before is cut out and I took a nap. Waking up to see the most extraordinary thing!!!

Ha ha, no I'm kidding. I just kept imagining someone flying over the amazing Canadian landscape. What a beautiful country. If that someone was me, I'd use the spare leg room to fly around and do Air-oh-bics.

Oh... yeah no I was building up to something there... The most extraordinary thing!!! A full circle rainbow!!! Well it might not be that amazing, but I thought it was neat. I kept trying to figure out how the optical effect was created but eventually gave up. I think they might call this a "sundog" but I don't know maybe it was a dimly lit Foofighter Or a treadmill for Leprechauns.

SPeaking of awesome things. I stopped in Saskatoon for a couple of days to visit family and meet my nephew for the first time. Adorable.

Even more so compared to this poor Jose Mestre, ho I watched a special on during my final flight to Calgary. It was called "the Man with no Face."

Finally I made it back to Calgary, landing at light speed like Dave in 2001. I wonder what Space baby like powers await me in this confusing and perhaps abstract end to a story...

CAT-BURGLARS!

Last week I was walking down St. Viateur in Montreal. A hand written letter stapled to a telephone pole caught my eye. The news was shocking, it was a warning to be on the look out for for a white van traveling the alleys of the mile end by night cat-napping cats. That is too say, stealling cats, not pulling over for a quick nap. (Although that is a safe driving technique I suggest for drowsy drivers.)

I went back the next day to take a picture and to my surprise it was gone! I quickly looked around the curb and gutter of the street for any remnants of torn piece of paper. The street was uncharacteristically litter free. Just then a white van ripped by! I photographed the van and it's license plate. Was the missing poster condemning white vans related to the sudden appearance of the white van? Urg... I may never know.

I found a second posting of the warning near "the mountain" and this time I got a picture. Here, have a read: Now I see white vans every where but none have a conclusive evidence of wrong doing.

That night I left the apartment at about 1:30pm. I made sure my cat was secured inside before jumping the wire fence in to the alley. I slink in and out of the darkness between street lights. The glowing eyes of cats can be seen in almost every yard. If I were these Cat-stealing jerks, I'd be hitting the Jack pot. A motion light comes on and I jump a little, then I move on. I feel self-conscious. What if someone thinks I'm the Cat-Burglar? I feel more relaxed knowing there is know one else around. Except cats! and their creepy eyes! Relax you feline bastards I'm on your side.

I return home about half and hour later. Nothing to report. Mystery Unsolved. Who are these Kitty Thieves? What do the do with those Cats? Who is posting these warning signs?

Daniel Goleman: Why aren't we all Good Samaritans?

I love TED talks.

wait for it... wait for it... help is on the way?

Damn. I would like to believe that this guy has a good reason he's strutting down the back streets of Montreal in the rain with a bike in each hand. I'd like to say I immediately ran after him yelling "hey punk, those aren't your bikes!" But it appeared that my powers of confrontation were momentarily disabled due to a lifetime of pacifism... or something.

So I follow the dude for a couple blocks trying to snap some pictures, maybe see where he was headed... maybe he was going to one of the twelve hundred bike shops in Montreal's Plateau. Eventually he stopped walking and started checking out his bikes... well I'm trailing twenty feet behind him and I don't have much time to think of anything more clever than to keep walking past him and into a dépanneur (or corner store as you may call them) just up the street. I loitered in the store to see if he would keep walking past me and I could keep following. But as the tension rose between me and the confused store clerk I decided to leave with out buying anything. I walked back towards the now bike enthusiast. Catching a glimpse of his regular white guy, light blue/green eyed face with a couple days of dark brown stubble growing on it. But like a coward I kept on trucking.

FRANTIC MODE!! Now what am I supposed to do! I can tell he's gonna be walking up this street for a while! What should I do? Well I pop into a pizza by the slice shop, and use their payphone... Hmm 911? No, as far as I understand that would summon a cop car, and ambulance and a firetruck... right? So I check their phonebook and it has a big blank line saying insert local police number here. What? or Dial "0" and have an operator connect you. Well I do that and because I'm at a BELL payphone I get the bell automated service giving me the option of paying for this call with my calling card or making it collect, but no operator assistance option. I hang up and Dial 911, but then get worried and hang up. Damn.

I walk home, with my digital photographs, hoping to see a cop car on the way. Surprisingly I don't. Most the time Montreal is a pretty heavily patrolled city, bt maybe cause it was rainy and a Sunday they had better things to do. I got home and decided to test that theory. I dial "0" and get my lovely operator to connect me to the police phone line, an automated service that puts directly on hold as my call is not an emergency. It doesn't even have any hold music or messages to re-affirm me that I wasn't just hung up on. Well, I wait ten minutes and give up. Calling 911, explaining that its not really an emergency, but I suspect a guy was walking around with some stolen bikes, can you direct me to the right people to speak to. Sure, no problem.. I get transfered and soon realize... "hey, they transfered me to the same phone number from before." This time I wait it out, but eventually i set down the phone and start making some eggs as this all happened before breakfast. I check in every five minutes, still nothing happens but eventually I hear a phone disconected sound and I get outraged.

So the moral of the story is, walk calm bike thieves with two maybe three or four stolen ikes in your hands, as the people in Canada are far two polite to say anything, and apparently some one who actually goes pretty far out of their way to catch you, will be defeated by lack of telephone channels. Wow... what a cynical day. Citizen Justice. (oh. and I have been looking on craigslist to see either of these bikes have been posted for sale, not yet.)